Here is my step by step guide to becoming the most confident boss babe ever…
Step 1: Define your version of confident, stand in your truth.
Forget what the world is telling you confidence looks like. What do YOU want your confidence to look like?
Let me share with you a personal example: when I think about my version of confident, I want to be able to eloquently tell anyone what I think in a way that is well received and respected. I want to stand tall in a crowded room and never shrink no matter who is there. I want to set barriers for my time ruthlessly and feel confident to abide by them. I want to have the confidence to feel great about not everyone liking me or agreeing with me. But mostly I want the confidence to drive my career to huge success and never say no to a risk because I was scared.
What does your version of confident look like?
Step 2: Determine what you need in order to embody that confidence
What do you need that you feel you do not have right now in order to embody the confidence you just described? You don’t need to know how to get it, you just need to know what it is.
I caution you – these are rarely external things. If you feel you need to lose 50lbs before you can be confident, you are wrong. You need to feel great in your body, and you think that losing 50lbs will make you feel great in your body. Look deeper.
To extend my personal example – in order to embody my confidence I would need to find a network of people to surround myself with regularly, and then be around them regularly. I will need to decide what barriers I want to work towards setting and which barriers are currently being overstepped? I will need to learn to say yes when I’m scared to but I know that it’s a decision that will benefit my career and my happiness.
Step 3: Take one step each week that feels a little scary and a little exciting
Now choose one thing that you want to work on this week and attach an action item to it. What is the action you’re going to take towards embodying your confidence?
For me, first I wanted to work on being around more people whom I admire without feeling like I had to shrink away or couldn’t stand in my truth. Who were those people? I committed to booking a dinner or drinks with a few of them each month.
For you, if you feel like you need to feel better in your body before you can truly step into your confidence, perhaps looking at making adjustments to your nutrition should be your first step. And an action item attached to that would be to add in 2 servings of vegetables to your main meals this week.
You will do this again next week, and the week after, and the one after that. And if you’re not sure where you should go from here, or what your action items will be – that’s where I come in baby! Let’s talk, I can help you get on the right track.
Step 4: Be patient, understanding, and persistent
This is a process, and it won’t happen over night. But one day you’re going to wake up and be able to embody that which you never thought you would. You will also probably feel this way before you look the way you thought you had to in order to feel it. Don’t think its possible?
True happiness comes from within, not from the pre-conceived idea of what you have to look like in order to be happy. Some of the happiest people I know carry a little extra weight and wouldn’t change their life for the world. You can absolutely lose weight and gain confidence, but understand that what happened there is not a direct causation, but a correlation to all of the other great things you started doing in order to lose that weight!