Entrepreneurs don’t cry.
“You need more grit. More hustle and motivation. You need to grind it out, suck it up and get to work. No use crying about it, princess, this is the life of an entrepreneur. The life you chose. You don’t get to have hard days, you must be on your game – no excuses. Why are you struggling so much? What’s wrong with you? Look at all the other women on your Instagram who are killing it. You should be a #bossbabe. Why are they doing so well when you are stuck here, struggling, spinning your wheels? When will you get to work from a beach, or travel to Dubai? When will it be your turn?”
Do you tell yourself that you aren’t doing the entrepreneur thing like an entrepreneur should?
Yeah, I did too. All the time. I told myself that if I wasn’t working every minute I was awake, I was wasting my time. I told myself that if GaryVee could do it, then so could I. But do you know what that got me?
Fucking burnt out and resentful instead of grateful of the work I get to do.
During this time, Landon and I would do this thing where we would tell each other 3 things we were looking forward to each day – you know, to start the day on a positive note. Without a doubt every day the thing I was looking forward to the most was going back to bed. It was awful.
The reason I was in this place, and the reason why you’re relating to this right now, is that we think we need to harden up, grit our teeth and scrape by in a scarcity mindset until we “make it”. We think that if we let ourselves feel happy with what we have accomplished that somehow means that we have settled. That if we don’t crank out a solid 12 hour day, that means that we didn’t work hard enough and we failed. I call bullshit on this.
You can have the life you are working so damn hard for, right now
We need to stop measuring our happiness in the form of money, and our success in the form of authority. Instead, we need to focus on making an impact on the world. We need to find balance in our life so that our relationships don’t fall to shit and when you finally do “make it” you have friends and family around you to clink champagne glasses with.
Too often we lose sight of what really matters in life and we get caught up in the race to the finish line that we miss out on all the other amazing parts along the way. We forget that if our mindset is negative, our results will always be subpar. If we don’t take care of our bodies, we will never be functioning at our full capacity.
What we need isn’t more grit
We don’t need more grit, motivation, drive or even willpower. What we need is balance, boundaries, and empathy for ourselves. Without these in place, we are on a downward trajectory (or will remain stagnant at best). Have you ever found that the more you focused on how bad you were doing, the worse your progress actually was? I totally do.
As soon as I start to focus on monetarily driven results rather than creating the impact that I love to create, my mindset goes to shit and I stall. I don’t move forward, despite my best efforts. I laser focus in on the end monetary goal and forget about how much I actually love the process and how much that charges me! Do you ever feel this way? Overwhelmed by the end that you lose sight of the here and the now? This is where that voice that I wrote about at the beginning starts to chime in, that catty B. She thinks she knows best, but she is so wrong.
You don’t need more grit if you truly enjoy what you do every day. You don’t need more motivation if you can wake up excited and energized to get to work because you love it. You don’t need more drive if you are empowered by the work that you do. And you don’t need more willpower, because you hold ALL the power already.
It’s okay to feel proud of yourself before you cross the finish line
And it’s okay to show yourself empathy if you didn’t get as much done as you wanted to because life happened and things came up. Guess what? There is no race – you made it up. There is only life, and if you don’t let yourself live it while you build your career, what is going to be left of it when you do finally cross that imaginary finish line?
I don’t know about you, but I would rather not find out. I would rather make time for my friends and family now. I would rather eat healthy and take care of my body now, not when I have time to. I would rather enjoy the process, rather than resent it. I would rather speak kindly to myself and feel empowered because I love what I do every day, rather than put myself down because I’m not as successful as “her, her, and her”.
There is always going to be someone more successful than you. We need to stop the comparison game, pull up our big girl panties, pass the prosecco, and step into a life where we have it all – right now. We don’t have to wait until we have $x.xx in our bank account – that wont define happiness for you. You can embody the life of someone who has it all right now – and your first step is fixing how you perceive yourself, setting boundaries for your time, and then honouring both.
You deserve to have it all, and you are truly capable of it.
What makes you happy?
That’s really all you need to know, and you have freed yourself from comparison, expectation and feeling like you’re not good enough. As soon as you know what you need to be truly, authentically happy – you know what your “have it all” life looks like. What makes you happy doesn’t make me happy, and vice versa – so stop comparing other people’s happiness against your own. If you were to step into someone else’s life, you would never be truly happy – even if you think you would be. It wouldn’t be yours, and it wouldn’t be true to you.
Start by making a happiness list
Write everything that you love, wish you had more time (or money!) to do, things that light you up and put you in your flow state, people you lose time with, everything. That is your blueprint – one at a time, how can you make that happen for yourself?