Gaining confidence in my body to lead with confidence in my job
What would it mean to feel 100% confident in your body? Would you take more risks? Would you put yourself out there and network more? Would you apply for that promotion, or have that difficult conversation with your boss, or tell your spouse that you want to work on your sex life? Would you talk to your friends about how you want to lose some weight and you need their help? Would you try a new workout class, or call back that guy who gave you his number at the gym the other day?
Would you work harder at your job?
Confidence is one of those finicky things
I believe confidence can be learned, but I also believe that it all stems from within. Sure, you can fake that shit – so many people all over social media are faking their confidence every day. But you forget that confidence is more than just the confidence it took for them to post that revealing photo. I think that people who have it can also lose it, and I believe that people who don’t have it can gain it. It just takes some work on yourself.
The sucky part about that is that work usually means you have to look at places in your mind that are a little dark and twisty. Why are you not confident and what would that mean to you to be more confident?
It’s like confidence is this universally sought after persona that everyone seems to be faking until they have it.
I wanted confidence, too.
I was NEVER confident (except when asked what ice cream flavor I wanted – I was super duper confident about that). But in my work life? Never. Not until I purposely and repeatedly forced myself into situations that allowed me to evolve (and encouraged me to).
That sounds scary. But I don’t mean going to a networking event and forcing myself to talk to every single person. No – actually that is literally the opposite of what I mean.
That also still scares the shit out of me…but I would question whether you need to be a morphing social butterfly to be able to call yourself confident. I argue that you don’t, and that your definition of confidence can fit comfortable within the realm of your life.
Is networking a big part of your career? Well then, yes you probably need to get a little better at that. But what if your job is making connection with your team, leading them and speaking your mind when you need to? Or giving necessary, but uncomfortable feedback?
Can we lose the stereotype for a minute?
You define your own version of confidence.
But really, what does your version of confidence look like? It doesn’t have to require you to post half naked selfies on the gram (but it could if you wanted to). I might just mean you have the confidence to speak your mind, walk with your head high, feel proud of your accomplishments, and guide your team like the badass you are.
In fact I would argue that more often than not – THIS is true confidence. And the other, in your face physical display of confidence, is the front.
It comes from within.
Sorry babe, but you need to do some work on the inside before you can be confident on the outside. A lot of the time, my clients find their confidence when they feel better about their bodies. This can manifest in many ways – not just the act of losing those last few stubborn pounds that have been holding you back from truly owning your life for quite some time. But USUALLY that confidence stems from a deeper change. Learning you have the control you thought you didn’t, learning that you can take action to change how you feel day to day, that you feel better about yourself when you have more energy and make time for the things that you love to do. That you are great at your job and you have a lot to offer the world and the people you work with.
Confidence doesn’t come from how your body looks, but rather how your body FEELS.