I’m not going to sit here and pretend to have this all figured out.
When it comes to what stops us from making real change…well that’s a million dollar question, girlfriend.
And it extends far beyond the weight loss sphere. But I have seen this, time and again, where the beliefs a client holds over what they can or can not accomplish is enough to sabotage efforts, prevent them from stepping into who they want to become when its staring them in the face, or hold them back from going all in on themselves.
Here are some examples you might relate to…
- After a week of eating really healthy, you’re feeling proud of yourself. It was easier than you thought! You feel great! For the first time in your life you feel balanced and in control. But you stop on the way home and grab a Blizzard because “you deserve it” and before you know it you’re on the wrong side of a full on Friday night binge.
- You get off the phone with your nutrition coach, you feel super motivated, ready to take on the week. You talked through all your barriers and you have game plans in place for each of them. Your daughter comes into the room screaming her face off and instinctively you reach for the cookies on the counter to suppress the guilt you feel for feeling annoyed with her.
- You just finish a really great workout, and your friend asks if you want to grab a bite to eat after. You know how to navigate meals out in a healthy way, and you feel confident to do so, so you agree to go. You’re sitting at the restaurant and you know you should order the grilled chicken sandwich with a side salad, but you always get pizza when you go out with your friend in the past and you don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable so you order and X-large and finish it off between the two of you.
Understanding Your Beliefs
In each of the examples I gave you above, you had a choice. You could either stay on the path towards standing in your truth, or you can make choices that reflects past behaviours. The thing about your beliefs is that very often they are not rooted in your truth. What I mean is that what you believe to be true and what is actually true are often not the same thing.
Our beliefs are very often passed down to us from previous generations, indoctrinated through social circles or thrust upon us by media. Think about each of the examples above – what did you subconsciously believe to be true in each of those examples?
- This is too good to be true, it should feel harder than this to lose weight
- I can’t control this situation, a good mom would be able to
- I can’t be impolite and make my friend uncomfortable, she will never understand what I’m doing, it’s not fair to impose my goals onto her
Now, these are just examples to illustrate a point, but you can see from these that often when you feel like you have no choice in a situation, or you have no control – what is really happening on a subconscious level is your inner you is trying to keep you safe. It doesn’t want you to change or risk judgement or subject yourself to a situation where you need to grow and adapt. It likes you in your comfy little padded box.
Unfortunately, you don’t become who you want to become by staying in your comfort box. You need to challenge these beliefs, recognize they are laying beneath the surface, and replace them with new ones that you create for yourself.
Challenge Your Beliefs
Before you can challenge them, you need to recognize them. And you do this by getting really uncomfortable and vulnerable for a little bit. So put on your comfiest pants, because that’s the only thing that will feel soft and fuzzy here.
Here are some examples of some limiting beliefs you might hold around your body, your weight loss journey, your worthiness to change, and your ability to do so:
- If I lose too much weight my family won’t treat me the same
- You can’t go out to eat and order a salad, that’s boring
- Being thin means being pretentious and full of yourself
- Coaching is expensive, I should be able to figure this out on my own
- I’m weak if I cannot control myself around food
- Don’t stand out, no one likes a show off
- I don’t know if I will like who I will become if I lose weight
- Weight loss is supposed to be hard
- I’m a mother, I’m supposed to have all the answers
- I will be happy when I look like _____
- It doesn’t matter what I do, I will always be overweight because its in my genetics
Hopefully that was enough to light a little fire under you and to start to create your own list. This is where the work begins. Find some time to sit quietly and ask yourself: what do I believe to be true about my weight loss journey, my self worth, or my ability to create the life of my dreams?
Go Forth And Change
Now for each of those limiting beliefs you just wrote out, you’re going to change your story. Rewrite them and make them your new mantras. Repeat them back to yourself every day until they become your new beliefs. Here are a few examples to get you started from the list I started above:
- If I lose too much weight my family won’t treat me the same → If I lose the weight I want to lose I will be healthier and will show up for my family with a renewed energy and love.
- You can’t go out to eat and order a salad, that’s boring → I am in control to make whatever choice I want without fear of being judged.
- Being thin means being pretentious and full of yourself → I am a kind, compassionate woman and my physical body does not determine how I behave or treat others.
- Coaching is expensive, I should be able to figure this out on my own → I am worthy of investing in myself and I recognize that I do not have all the answers. I want to feel supported and guided.
- I’m weak if I cannot control myself around food → I have the power to choose what I will and will not eat, and these decisions do not define me as a person.
Your turn! You get to rewrite your story, girl. That’s as close to magic as you’re ever going to get.