There is a gap in the coaching world that just about everyone skips the first time out of the gate.
Let’s face it, we all get our first (or second or third) certification and we feel UN.FREAKING.STOPPABLE.
This is it! We are going to change the world!! WE’re going to have a sweet schedule, and everyone is going to want to work with us because we are so smart and we can’t wait to get a website and make it “official” annnnd…crickets.
What the hell? We’re posting on our Instagram! We made a Facebook Group! Where are all the raving fans!?!?
Maybe I need to show my bum more…
Maybe people will care more about what I have to say if I LOOK the part…show them that I walk the walk…
**enter endless stream of healthy macro-friendly meals and booty pumping exercise vids**
I want to share with you the most pivotal shift you will have in the growth of your business…don’t feel bad I skipped this too at first (actually…twice to be honest…)
But I have the secret to why nothing you do seems to be working while blonde barbie #12 has millions of raving fans.
Keep your pants on…it’s more simple than you think.
Mind The Gap
There’s something that happens between getting certified and getting started in online business.
Well, actually, there’s something that SHOULD happen…but we all just skippity do dah day right past it because…well…it’s kinda boring (OH YA and no one talks about it…so there’s that too)
There’s this invisible gap between “F*CK YA I’M CERTIFIED!!” happy dance and “ooookay so nothing I’m doing is working…cool, now what…” paralysis.
This is something that is never taught in your certifications.
This is something that very few coaches ever speak about.
This is something that is just assumed to come naturally to us.
This gap…is your voice. Your purpose. Your message. And how YOU will be fulfilled in this business. It’s connection with yourself and owning who you need to now evolve into as the leader and the entrepreneur you’re setting out to be.
The reason you jumped off that big ol cliff and fell on your face has absolutely nothing to do with how smart you are, how many certifications you have, who you know, what your niche is, how much you’re charging, what your coaching packages look like, whether or not you’re blogging, if you have a website, your organic outreach strategies…blah blah blah blah…
The reason why nothing ever seems to work…
OR on that same note…the reason why it worked initially and then it all STOPPED working…
IS YOU, BOO.
It’s you. It’s your mindset around the ups and downs in our industry. It’s your belief in yourself, your value and your purpose. It’s your scarcity around money and the desperation that comes through in your shaky voice because of it. It’s because you’re trying to look like what you think a good coach “should” look like online…instead of just owning who you already are and letting your own unique superpowers be seen.
HELL, it’s because you can’t even say out loud to yourself (let alone the world) what success looks like for you…and make a declaration that you WILL achieve that without a glimmer of self doubt scurry across your mind.
Ultimately, this is the cement in a brick out. Without it, you can still build the house…but its going to be a lot fucking stronger if you mix up the cement first.
I think the reason it’s never talked about…is because you can’t measure it…it’s intangible…its non-binary…and everyone’s experience with it is different.
You see…until you understand fully who you are as a coach, why the fuck that matters to you, how your life is going to be better by achiving the goals you set out for yourself, and how helping others is going to fufill YOU…
You will continue to get caught in the minutia.
You will continue to get trapped by lists, and systems, and strategies.
You will buy into the stories you tell yourself that “you aren’t smart enough yet”, “no one cares what you have to say”, “why would anyone buy from YOU”
You will be paralyzed by self-doubt, fear of vulnerability and a lack of purpose.
So before I share with you how to mix your own damn cement…I want to share with you my story.
My Story of Overcoming Fear and Building Resiliency
There I was…riding shotgun on another morning where I woke up with tears in my eyes and a knot in my throat.
The same knot I had pushed down…way way way down…more times than I could count.
With the same scary thoughts I had been pretending weren’t there for months now dancing across my mind.
But today felt different. I felt braver. I felt like I couldn’t keep pushing these thoughts away or they were going to kill me from the inside out.
“I DON’T WANT TO HAVE A GYM ANYMORE” I blurted out to Landon without looking over at him…and then holding my breath for what felt like hours waiting for his reply.
But his expression didn’t really change. It was as if he was thinking the same thing and I was just the first to blurt it out.
There I go again…leading with emotion.
“Okay”, he said.
We were on the same page.
But what came next was much harder than saying those words that morning.
The transition out of the life we thought we had wanted into the unknown…was terrifying.
I think this was the single biggest reason we hadn’t made the change yet…
“What would people say about us…” was the single most paralyzing thought for both of us.
Yes, we were allowing our ego, status, and external success ROB US of internal happiness.
We were allowing the fear of the unknown stop us from jumping in.
Until one day…Landon made the choice for both of us. He pushed me out of the gym (not physically but…well I guess ya kinda physically…as in I was no longer working there…I was moving on to start building our future).
In those months after I had to mourn, grow, and get the fuck past all my previous self-doubts, mess ups, failures and limiting beliefs if I was going to succeed.
I had to step up in a big way…
Landon was betting on me…I HAD TO START BETTING ON ME, TOO.
But before I could build a business from scratch…I knew one thing that had to happen this time around.
I had to FILL IN THAT GAP.
The gap I honestly didn’t even know was there as I filled it in.
All I knew, intuitively, was that this business needed to be different. We needed to build it in a way that allowed us to live our LIFE for the first time ever.
To be able to travel without putting life on hold.
To be able to step away from work and not feel this overwhelming sense of guilt.
To be able to put our phones away and be present with each other.
To trade in my anxiety for happiness.
To sleep again without waking up with tears in my eyes…ya that’d be pretty cool I thought.
So board by board I lay down the bridge over my gap (not my thigh gap).
And I starting growing faster than I ever thought possible…all because I filled this fucker in.
All because I took the time to go back to my WHY, how was this business going to support MY LIFE? How was I going to feel fulfilled this time around? How was THIS going to be any different than before.
I don’t regret not starting here…because if I had I never would have known this gap existed at all and I wouldn’t be here sharing this with YOU.
I wouldn’t have made all the mistakes I did…and I wouldn’t be able to help you navigate away from the heartache of making the same ones.
So here we go…get ready to take your power back and start laying down your own damn boards…
Bullet-proofing your mind and your business
Taking your power back sounds like something that should come with a 3 step proven system, right?
Well I got it nailed down to as close as we can get to that…but the problem here is that your power is different than my power.
And the way you take it back (or own that b*tch right from the start) is going to be different from me too. So I’m going to talk in generalities here so that you can start to conceptualize an intangible idea into a strategy to bulletproof your business.
1. Declare your future
Sounds woowoo right? Well, it kinda is. But it also is the first step for a bunch of really awesome totally scientifically backed reasons (aka: Laura’s life test retest)
What are you GOING to achieve? What does success look like for you? Do you believe that this is possible for you? Can you say it out loud without downplaying it?
In order to do this, and do it with meaning, it must start with a deep understanding of what you’re currently missing in life…what would make you happier than you are right now? What do you need in your life to feel fulfilled and live with purpose?
Release the internal voice that says “you’re selfish for wanting THAT”, “who do you think you are for wanting to live like THAT” and Just. Fucking. Own it.
You are allowed to dream of any life you want for yourself…but what you will probably come to realize is that the things you need to be happy…are actually pretty basic.
Now reverse engineer that into your success – what does success look like for you? What WILL you achieve?
And then WHY will this fulfill you? Why is this meaningful?
It’s so easy to say “I wanna make 10K a month!” – but that has zero value to you personally and is the prefect recipe to lead you down the deep dark path I was on in the gym…
Working way too much just to see a number in my bank account…losing track of friends, family, and sunlight in the pursuit of a goal that had zero meaning to me other than to say “I am a successful entrepreneur by some invisible standard”
Get crystal fucking clear here before you move on.
2. Get real with yourself
The person that is going to be able to hold that amount of success is not who you currently are. It doesn’t matter the successes you’ve already seen, or the failures you have overcome. What got you here is not what is going to get you there.
What are the strengths you do not yet embody that you need to practice in order to get to the next level in business and in life?
And then, what are the weaknesses about yourself that you either need to let go of, or embrace as your superpower?
For me? I had to drop my ideal of perfectionism and embrace validation from myself. I had to allow myself permission to try and fall without reacting emotionally. I had to be more ruthless with myself and not stall out if things didn’t happen the way I thought they “should”. I had to release the outcome of my actions and start enjoying the action itself.
But most importantly, I had to embrace emotion as my superpower. I had to stop trying to change that part of me and allow that to be my north star.
3. Plan, track, access, repeat
A big part of the gap that we aren’t taught is that being self aware and building a business around our happiness and our life begins and ends with our willingness to face the truth with where we are winning and where we are messing it all up.
This new way of thinking…setting boundaries…saying no to energy vampires…and ultimately putting ourselves first for ONCE…is really hard.
We’re going to mess up and go off course. We are going to need constant reminders of what our priorities are, what our non-negotiables are, and where our gas tank levels are at.
Planning your week’s and your days ahead of time in both personal goals and business targets is crucial to having the data we need to assess and iterate moving forward.
I suggest starting with 3 business targets and 3 personal targets…and time block those bad boys in. And then at the end of the week – what did you accomplish?
Oh! You skipped the gym again to work? That is probably a red flag that you aren’t taking care of yourself the way you should be…course correct and get back on track next week.
When your personal targets and your business targets are balanced, you show up with anew energy, you move through your days with less stress and overwhelm, and you can train yourself into living your life being happy NOW instead of always waiting for “one day” to magically appear.
Cause it won’t.
You build “one day” you don’t just stumble over it.
“One day” doesn’t just come as a bi-product of hard work.
“One day” is created when your happiness, fulfillment, work ethic and personal boundaries are in alignment.
Very rarely do people experience more happiness with more money or status alone.
Expand your version of “one day”. Fill in your gap.