Let me tell you a story
Circa 2014, I’m a small fry in a big ol’ city. And the story I’m telling myself is: “you are strong, girl, you got this. You can do anything you set your mind to and you will achieve greatness. You don’t need to lean on anyone else, that shows them that you’re weak. Don’t ever show people your weaknesses or they won’t want to work with you” blah blah blah. But I believed it.
Little did I know I was spewing a whole boatload of crap to myself, and it’s these stories that kept me from stepping into the truest version of myself – someone who loves to connect with people! I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t think I was a very good communicator and because of this I was petrified of speaking in public. The thought of putting myself “out there” made my palms sweat and my voice shake. I was clearly bad at this, abort abort!!
Over those couple rough years, I watched, from the side lines, as my influencer’s connected. “They are so natural” I thought “how can they make it look so effortless?” until I read a post – someone I super duper look up to wrote how SHE WAS NERVOUS TOO!
The fuck. Seriously!? PSH ya right….
What connection means to me
It was then and there I committed to connected to one new person a month. That felt like a big deal to me at the time. “Why would these amazing people want to talk to me?” I would think to myself. “I don’t have thousands of follower’s, I’m basically a no-body”…turns out no one really gives a shit about how many followers you have. They care about how you make them feel. And I made it my mission to make everyone I spoke with and reached out to feel valuable. That was my hidden superpower – making people feel awesome about themselves.
Connection isn’t about what you get out of it. Connection is about what you bring to the table. You know what I discovered in all my conversations? No one brings to the table what I do – I am unique with unique gifts. There are thousands of nutrition coaches out there, but there are also a thousand different things that set me apart from all of them. Harnessing my superpowers became my full time job, and helping people feel amazing in their bodies became my purpose.
Don’t fall into the comparison spiral
Let’s be honest – its sooooo hella easy to fall into! There’s so many amazing beautiful successful women all over the gram. How can you not compare yourself to them! It’s human nature. Gosh, I still do it even though I know better. I stop myself as soon as I catch myself doing it, but darnit I wish I was working from my laptop on a beach too sometime. Lucky bitch.
But she struggles too! Did you know that? I’m going to let you in on a little secret right here and now – EVERYONE STRUGGLES. Everyone. No, seriously. Everyone. What you struggle with evolves over time as your business grows, but struggle never goes away – it’s built into the entrepreneur life. It’s as much a part of this life as breathing is – so why are we all so ashamed to show the struggle?
“Nope, gotta show my beautiful tanned body glowing on the beach while I work from my cabana, can’t let people know I had a really bad day because people might judge me”.
Bad day’s aren’t sexy, but do you know what they are? REAL! They’re real life, girl. It’s okay to have a bad day. It’s okay not to want to be vulnerable and ask for help and lean on your tribe. That’s what they’re there for. And this is when I realized I needed one – when I felt lonely. Like no one understood my struggle and like I was failing. Turns out every other bloody fempreneur was feeling the exact same way!!
Our cycles were synced.
Don’t confuse support for weakness (bra analogy)
I think the reason no one asks for help is because we are afraid of showing weakness. As women, we can be CAAAAAAty. But why? Why not pull each other up instead of secretly celebrate when a fellow fempreneur falls. How stupid. Stop that right now, you fail too! Do you really want that bad karma?
Didn’t think so.
Tribal support is like a good bra. A good bra provides support, and you better believe it is strong af – there is no weakness there, girls! Don’t confuse support, empathy, companionship, and community with weakness – it is the furthest thing from it. If you let it become your strength you will be resilient to all roadblocks along the way. You can’t brave the storm on your own, you need your tribe to find you way.
How you can start to find your tribe
Who do you admire, look up to and want to be like? Who do you follow locally that creates impact, has a community of their own and had a killer vibe? Who’s message do you relate to? When thinking about who you want to join ranks with, start there.
Now, who do you have in your personal life you you can lean on? Do you have friends and family who support you no matter what? Do you have a spouse who you can include in your struggles? So, include them. They cannot understand your life if you do not share your life with them. Don’t expect for them to figure you out without your help – you’re a complicated woman, and a driven powerful one at that. You need to help a guy/gal out!!
Join my tribe!! I would love to have you in my tribe! I have a private facebook groups for fempreneurs just like YOU – and I want you in there. We share the real, vulnerable raw truths of what’s really going on in our little business lands. Let’s all have it all together, girls!